A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That...

It's been way too long since I've updated my blog. My dear friend Jenny's bad habits are rubbing off on me.
Now that I'm actually sitting down to write I have so much to talk about but not enough time or energy to creatively put it in written form. A good friend of mine (one of my cool writer friends) suggested bullet points. I think that is a great idea. I will write about all of them more detail as the urge to write comes to me.

• My trip to the Midwest for my sister's birth went well. I got there in plenty of time. The birth was beautiful. My niece is beautiful. I got to come home a few days early, and my family survived.

• I attended another amazing birth just a few days after I got home. I actually had a lot of fun at this birth even though I was up two nights in a row. I was one of three doulas there and the other two are a couple of my favorite friends. We had a blast. It was a VBAC and the mama ROCKED!
  

• I decided last night that I am seriously in LOVE with John Mayer. So much so that I will overlook the fact that he is rumored to be dating Jessica Simpson.

• I have two clients that think they will be having their babies within the next 48 hours. This should be an interesting week. Two more births to write about. Fun!
  

• Thanks to Jane, the song Game of Love by Santana (featuring Michelle Branch) , is stuck in my head. This one will require lots of thought (and maybe some soul searching) before I write.

• I need to know more about North Carolina, lots more.

Ok, I thing that is a good start. Hopefully this will inspire me to update my blog more frequently.

She's Leaving Home

I'm filled with anxiety today. I am preparing to leave my family for 11 days. On the other hand, I'm very excited because I'm leaving so I can be at the birth of my sister's third baby. I think this will be the longest time I will have spent away from my kids. What will they do without me? Will my husband be a better mom than I am? Will he be able to keep a cleaner house while taking care of 4 children? Will my kids have more fun with him and their grandmothers than they do with me? Will he be better at the shopping? Will he get them to, and pick them up from school on time (something I rarely do)? Will I be missed? Oh no, will they miss me too much? Will they cry every night for their mommy? Will my daughter wind up with damaged hair because nobody knows how to properly care for it except me? Will they eat well? Will my hubby buy the right foods or will he feed them nothing but pizza, waffles, and ramen noodles (something I've been know to do occasionally)? Will someone forget to take them or pick them up from school? Will my mother or my mother-in-law lose one of my kids while my husband is at work?
There are too many unknowns, maybe I should stay home. Or maybe I should trust that the man I married and the women who raised us will take just the right amount of care of my children.

Thing 1 and Thing 2

The other day the twins were going through my purse looking for gum. They found a tampon and ran up to me to ask what it was.
"What's this Mommy?" Thing 1 asked.
"It's a tampon" I replied, thinking a simple answer would make them lose interest.
"Where do you put it?" Hmmm, how do I explain that one and what would make Thing 1 ask such a question? I decided to say nothing.
"Do you put it in your mouth?" Thing 2 asked.
"No" I said calmly.
"Do you put it in your ear?" Thing 1 said while tyring to stick the tampon in his ear.
"No" I repeated, wishing I could change the subject.
"Do you put it in your nose?" Thing 2 giggled.
"No!" I yelled, "I put it in my vagina!" I snatched the tampon away from them and put it away.
"Oh!' they replied softly, sounding a bit confused.
I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking I was done trying to explain tampons to a couple of 3 year old boys.
All of a sudden Thing 1 pipes up "Show us!" and Thing 2 exclaimed "Yeah, show us!"
"Please!" they begged in unison.
I could only respond as any other loving, communicative mother would.

"No! Now get out of here and leave me alone!"

Oh, the joys of raising little boys!

When You Trust In Your Physician..

...what you get is what you got. Cause when they own the information they can bend it all they want.

I attended a C-Birth this week. My client E was planning her second VBAC. Her first baby was breech and she had an empowering vaginal birth with her second baby. She had the same care provider this time as she did with the second baby, so we figured this third birth would be a breeze. No reason to suspect that this doctor was not on board with VBACs, right?
Her first two babies were born a week or so past her EDD and they were both over 9lbs. I was not surprised when she reached 41 weeks. What did surprise me was her phone call telling me that Doctor wanted her to get to the hospital within the next 2 hours because a c-section needed to be done right away. Why, you ask? Because baby was measuring 10lbs 4 oz! Oh my goodness, the horror!
E and I talked about how ultrasounds were notorious for being off when it comes to weight. She said she asked about that & her doctor said that wasn't true. This baby was huge and it would be way too dangerous for her to try to birth such a big baby naturally. Never mind the fact that 3 years ago her VBAC baby was 9 & 1/2 pounds.
My client decided to trust the information she was being given and went to the hospital.
Just before going in for surgery Doctor stopped by to talk with E. She told her that she still hadn't changed her mind about E needing surgery just because E didn't want it. Doctor was so confident that baby was dangerously large that she said she would fire her ultrasound tech if she wound up being wrong. She also said that even if E wasn't a VBAC she wouldn't "let" her birth such a big baby vaginally.
E had decided to get her tubes tied during the surgery. While explaining the risks of this additional procedure this doctor proceeded to say that VBACS were almost (but not quite) as "life threatening" as tubal pregnancies. Yes, she used the term "life threatening" to describe a VBAC! The same thing she had supported a little over 3 years ago is now life threatening???
A less than 1% chance of uterine rupture makes VBACs almost as life threatening as a tubal pregnancy??? My eyes are about to roll out of my head!
So we get into the OR and as baby is being born the doctor keeps talking about how big this baby is. She's so big that they needed to use the vacuum to get her out (because she's big, not because she's not ready to be born yet *eye roll*).
Baby girl was born and went off with dad to the recovery area while Doctor finished taking care of E. When mom and baby were reunited we found out that E had given birth to her smallest baby. She was 8 lbs 11 oz, approximately a pound an and a half smaller than predicted. What did Doctor have to say about being wrong? "At least you got a tubal out of the deal", "Maybe during the ultrasound she stuck out her rump to make herself look bigger".
Arrrrrgggh! I'm so frustrated!
I am so sick of watching women being lied to, being manipulated into doing what their "care" providers want them to. I'm sick of women allowing themselves to be lied to and manipulated. I'm tired of watching women give up their power. I'm tired of watching medical professionals put convenience, money, politics, and power above what is best for women and their babies.
I'm sick of women having fewer and fewer birthing options. I want them to have evidenced based care, not care based on fear of lawsuits. I want women to be educated enough to know the difference.
As I listened to John Mayer's words tonight I started to feel defeated. I listened to him sing about seeing everything going wrong but not having the means to change it. I listened to him talk about caring but also knowing that the fight is unfair so he and his friends are just gonna sit back & wait for change to happen.
Then I started to think about my last client and her long but amazing home birth. I started to think of my repeat client who had a great hospital birth last time but is so excited about her upcoming home birth. I was reminded by Jane of her 14 year old client who gave birth on her own terms and is successfully breastfeeding and slinging her baby.
As much as I love John and his music, I realized I don't have to "keep on Waiting on the World to Change". My fellow birth junkies and I are changing the world one woman at a time.

Mommy and Me

My mom is a pretty cool chick to hang out with. I used to hate when people called me Little B but now, I so want to be my mom when I grow up. I'd like to not need to be as busy as she is (that won't happen since I have 4 kids to her 1) but I'd like to be as cultured, as smart and as patient as she is.
Even though I see my mom at least twice a week, we rarely get to spend time together. Most of my "mom time" is actually Grandmama time. I'm usually bringing a kid or two (or four) to her house or she is picking someone (or all of them) up from our house. She is my back up childcare when Hubby isn't available & I have to do birthwork. My kids adore her and I'm guessing she feels the same way about them because she makes sure that each of them get to spend quality time with her.
I was starting to resent all the time my kids get to spend with her that I don't, so Mom and I decided to have GNO (girls night out). Friday night I picked my mom up driving a car that is not all that kid friendly. When I got to the door she went into "mom mode". I obviously wasn't dressed warm enough for how cold it was outside. Instead of leaving with enough time to pick up a bite to eat, we had to go inside and find a coat for me. She was right, my flimsy sweater wouldn't have done much for me by the time the movie let out. My mom is always right (another reason why I want to be her). We said goodbye to her hubby and giggled with excitement about being out together with no kids & no hubbies. We were off to see Bobby!
We got to the movie theater, mom bought our tickets and I bought our snacks. Sadly, the movie wasn't as good as it could have been. We knew going in that the movie had received mixed reviews but we had hoped for the best. It was very slow starting, bordering on boring but the wrap up was good. The ending was very touching.
The best part of the movie was Robert Kennedy's speech that was played after he had been shot. It's called On The Mindless Menace Of Violence. It's amazing how little times have changed. These words could easily be spoken today.
http://www.rfkmemorial.org/lifevision/onthemindlessmenaceofviolence/


After the movie I drove my mother home. We listened to one of my favorite new artists, Corrine Bailey Rae, and I found out that my mother loves her too. I told you she's cool.