Intermittent Premature Gender Dysfunction (IPGD)
IPGD is found in people with unpredictable episodes or experiences surrounding an unplanned, temporally-distorted physiological response regarding sexual partner preferences.
Oh no, what ever will I do? Well, the site does give me some ideas on how to get rich off of it:
- Patent a dangerous chemical as a "treatment" for IPGD.
- Invent fictitious trial results that prove the drug is effective in treating IPGD.
- Bribe FDA officials into approving the drug as safe for everyone! (Even if it kills people.)
- Submit to the American Psychiatric Association for inclusion in their DSM-IV (the standard reference guide of psychiatric disorders).
- Create an emotional TV ad that shows unhappy, confused people being transformed into perfect beings after they take your drug.
- Issue press releases to mainstream media outlets who will run your propaganda as news with zero skepticism.
- Bribe doctors with vacations, extravagant meals and "consulting fees" in order to get them to prescribe your drug to as many patients as possible.
- Buy off politicians and legislators to block alternative medicine and enforce a pharmaceutical monopoly.
- Sit back and rake in the dough** while Americans go broke buying your drug to treat IPGD!
- When the lawsuits roll in from the families of dead patients, simply use a small portion of your windfall profits to settle out of court, admitting no guilt.